I’m 30, unemployed and moving back home.

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I really didn’t think this is where I’d be in my life right now.  By 30 years of age, I thought I’d have a well established career, a house, maybe a marriage and a couple of kids.  I thought I’d finally feel secure.

But my life unraveled much differently than I expected…

I’ve now lost my job for the 3rd time in a row in just 2 years.  Unemployment deserves as much space on my resume as my professional existence.  I’ve held 6 jobs since college not including my side jobs.  I’m currently renting my 4th apartment and in a matter of a few short months, I am moving back home with my parents.

Not exactly what I had in mind…

TYN - im 30 - gandhi

But what is success, really?

I may not be what most people in our society deem as successful.  But what does success mean to most people? Is it the VP title on their email signature?  Is it the money, the cars and the house?  The lavish vacations?  I certainly don’t think so.  Success to me is being true to yourself.  It’s discovering your authentic voice and actually listening to it. The money, houses and vacations will follow if you so desire, as long as you’re being the real, authentic you.

Did you know these icons all lost their jobs at some point in their life?

  • Steve Jobs was fired from Apple even though he was the creator
  • Walt Disney hopped from one job to another before finding success
  • Truman Capote was fired from The New Yorker. The NEW YORKER!
  • Oprah Winfrey was let go as a news reporter

It happens to the best of us. It’s not easy, but getting up to try again is where you  find your real strength.  Although many of us identify ourselves with what we do from 9-5, we are NOT our jobs.  That’s why it’s so important to really listen to your gut and do what YOU want to do. If you’re at a crossroads in your career like I am, use this time as an opportunity to go within and reconsider what you want to spend your life doing.

Over several months of my own self reflection and rumination, I finally started listening to my heart. 

It was the only place left for me to go. Yet, it’s always been there.  The core of who I really am.  I have an opportunity to make a serious change in my life.  I chose what I want my future to be.  We ALL have that choice.

Losing your job is one of life’s biggest stressors.  When all hope and confidence is lost, your self esteem plummets.   You feel fearful and lost.  You start believing your doubts and there’s an overwhelming sense of insecurity with the uncertainty of what lies ahead.  It’s normal to experience these emotions as you get over the initial shock of what just happened.  And frankly, it’s necessary.  There is a grieving process that accompanies a job loss.  Don’t ignore it or try and fight it.  Go with it.  Be with it.  Let it do its work and move on.

As you move forward from losing your job, here are 5 things to keep in mind to help you stay afloat:

1) Nothing lasts forever.

This perceived roadblock in your life is temporary.  You won’t be unemployed forever.  You won’t feel the way you do forever either.  Good or bad – everything in this life is temporary. Keep this in mind for all you do!

2) Have no expectations.

If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed.  Think about the last time you expected something, and how disappointed you were when it didn’t happen. Without being affected by the outcomes that you encounter, you can be more at peace with the general twists and turns of life.  Living your life free of expectations is extremely liberating!

3) Listen to your gut.

It doesn’t lie!  Your gut literally acts as a second brain and reacts similarly in moments of distress as well as happiness.  Stomach ache?  Butterflies?  Listen to it. Intuition is another way of listening to your gut. If it just feels right or wrong, it probably is.

4) Let go. And let go of attachment.

When you stop holding on and let go, you are able to create space in your body and mind for the things that actually serve you.  Letting go of attachments to things and ideas – frees you from suffering.  Where could you let go a little more?

5) Find strength in times of adversity.

Most of our growth occurs as we experience tough times. It’s often hard to see it in the moment, but you will learn from this tremendously and you’ll be better off as a result.

Remember, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.  Trust your instincts and listen to your gut. You’re not alone in this!

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

Have you ever lost your job? How did you handle it?

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About Anne

Anne is a passionate yogi who loves to be active outdoors. When she's not traveling to destinations near the equator to practice yoga and eat tropical fruit, you can find her in the kitchen cooking up nourishing meals with her partner, Brandon. A music junkie at heart, she is currently spinning: Tor, Hiatus, Friend. and Giyo.

8 thoughts on “I’m 30, unemployed and moving back home.”

  1. After job loss I’m moving back home myself. I’ve been in Dallas for 8 years following undergrad and had a share of highs and lows job wise. I find myself depressed in some cases following all of what has transpired from the job loss but I know their is a light through every tunnel. I pray that all is well as I make that transition to Houston

    • Hey Ricky, thanks for your comment. Moving through a job loss and departing the city you’ve become so familiar with over the past 8 years is not easy. Two major life stressors. I hope that the transition back to Houston goes smoothly, and that the “silver lining” becomes apparent soon. My heart is with you.

  2. Thanks for writing this. I’m going through a hard time. I’ve been fired for the first time in 10 years of my working life and it was all my fault. I feel utterly wretched and worthless. I’m frantically looking around for a new job. I really got lucky in my previous job so it hurts a lot that I had the audacity to do what I had done. I How long were you in this state before it got better?

    • Hi Michelle, I’m so sorry to hear about the job loss. No matter what the circumstances, it’s never easy to go through. Losing a job is a major life stressor, so make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Take the time you need to forgive yourself, too. We all make mistakes. It ebbed and flowed for me, but once I realized that my identity wasn’t dependent on my job, the weight lifted a bit. It can take significant time to find another job, especially one that’s fulfilling. Check yourself that you’re making decisions from love, not fear. <3 I hope you find something soon and that the pain lessens soon too.

  3. Dear Anne, first of all I want to thank You for having taken the time to write this paper.
    I do share the same way of thinking as the one You expressed in your article, “success to me is being true to myself”, but what I truly find inspiring are the five points You described, worth to always keep in mind, and this is what I am truly grateful to You for. Thank You


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